The Candidate for North Northumberland
I heard the voice of the Lord, and He said: 'Someone better'
A few weeks ago, I provisionally agreed to be a ‘paper candidate’ for the SDP at the next election, for the North Northumberland constituency. If no-one better could be found.
There is this problem: I am currently living in Barbados, and intend to stay here if I can. The ‘paper candidate’ is there on the ballot, and so counts towards the SDP’s notional national electoral offer - important in terms of coverage, including Party Political Broadcasts. The ‘paper candidate’ isn’t expected to win, indeed he/she isn’t really expected to do much in the way of campaigning either.
(Though, it has to be said that during the campaign I’d be very very happy to be in Bamburgh for the duration, with luck making my campaign HQ at the very wonderful Potted Lobster. Seriously, who wouldn’t want to make their way through their menu, relax a little, do a little light campaigning, and finish the (May?) day off with a swim off some of the best beaches in the land? )
But surely, North Northumberland deserves better than me, and better than a paper candidate. It is achingly clear that everyone deserves the opportunity to vote for an SDP candidate. Perhaps, in the end, in the next election, voting SDP is the only way you can be sure your vote will not be wasted. Vote Conservative? - wasted vote. Vote Labour? - wasted vote. Vote LibDem/Green/Reform plc - wasted votes. Why? Because through all those parties the establishment already has us all trussed up for sacrifice to their agendas, and all you are being offered is the choice of who holds the knife.
So I put this out as a general plea: please, someone, step forward and take up the candidacy for North Northumberland. Do it for the good of the country. Do it for your neighbours. Do it for the life of democracy. Do it for yourself (though it’s no ego-trip, believe me).
Do it!
Why not add your name to the list of Prospective Parliamentary Candidates.
You’ll discover things about your community, your neighbours, and yourself. You’ll almost certainly have a great and exhausting time. And come the final count, you’ll discover yourself enormously grateful and affectionate to those hundreds who voted for you, at the same time as confirming your enormous relief that you won’t actually have to join the dreadful bunch down in Westminster.
And last but definitely not least, you’ll be rescuing North Northumberland from my candidacy. Let’s be honest, I was a fairly useless candidate in the last election, discovering a voter-repellent set of characteristics I’d previously kept hidden. I like to think I could keep them down, but you never really know. . . . Despite that I’m still proud I tried and grateful for the support I someone got.
This time, it could be you!
Good luck getting out of this Michael. If not, the Potted Lobster is great and you can take your dog on the lower level.